Winning Over A Brother (23rd Sunday Ordinary A)



In 1983, just two days after Christmas, Pope John Paul II visited his would-be assassin in prison and spoke privately with him for about twenty minutes.  The Pontiff later declined to mention what was discussed, and said, "What we talked about will have to remain a secret between him and me.  I spoke to him as a brother whom I have pardoned and who has my complete trust."
(Image and caption from polishgreatness.blogspot.com)

How do we actually respond to situations when a brother or a sister or a member of a community goes wayward or does something that offends us?



One approach that many of us easily subscribe to is the mind-your-own-business approach.  We have allowed the spirit of laissez faire to expand its influence from politico-economic sphere to our personal and social life.  We don’t want to have anything to do with whatever smacks of “meddling” with another’s life.  “Walang pakialaman pare!”  We have grown to become individualists imbued with a misleading philosophy of freedom synonymous to licentiousness. “Bahala siya sa buhay nya. Diskarte nya yan!”  In the same token, somehow deep within us we also wish to be left alone with our own business.  So, we build sturdy and high walls around our homes and strong divisions within, perhaps, in order to let one another just be.

Another favourite approach is the seemingly concerned non-confrontational tell-the-neighbours approach. In short and in my dialect, the libak approach.  Not a single soul in the whole barangay remains uninformed regarding the hottest issue except the person concerned.  Is this because of the daunting task inherent in the duty to correct the wrong doer? Or is it the passive-aggressive psychological make-up we all seem to grow up with given our authoritarian family dynamics? Or perhaps the highly valued cultural Smooth Interpersonal Relationship (SIR)?  Whatever underlies the town’s favourite gossip approach one thing is sure: It does not help.

This Sunday readings offer us a helpful approach.  May I call it the my-brother’s-keeper approach?  This one is imbued with the spirit of love and care clearly espoused by the second reading from St. Paul’s letter to the Romans (13: 8-10). “Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law” (v. 8).  Paul’s reminder is the underlying motive of my-brother’s-keeper approach.  Love, and not the cold spirit of laissez faire or the burning passion for gossip, should be the inspiration behind our effort to win over an errant family or community member.  We always have to be aware that our Christian communities are communities of the loving Covenant between God and his people. We are the communities of the Kingdom of God.  The bond that ties us together is not any social ideology or a common psychological idiosyncrasy but love.

In such a communitarian context, each is endowed with a prophetic vocation to remind, to warn, to reprimand a member whenever he or she turns away from the spirit of the covenant and the values of God’s Kingdom.   The prophet Ezekiel, in the first reading (Ez. 33:7-9), is given this responsibility to “dissuade the wicked man from his way.”  Failure to act on this responsibility holds the prophet liable to the evil that befalls the man in question.  “If... you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked man from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death” (v. 8).  This reminds all of us of our social responsibility to take care of one another by reprimanding or gently reminding each one whenever we are in error or in sin.

In the community of God’s Kingdom, it is not very responsible to say “Walang pakialaman pare!” nor it is with love and concern that we say “Bahala siya sa buhay niya.”  As children of God, we are always our brother’s keeper. We should constantly act out of love by reaching out to a community member who has gone wayward.

The gospel today (Mt. 18:15-20) prescribes some helpful steps to a genuine process of fraternal correction.  Again, in each step, the objective is to win your brother over (v. 15). This is real concern and love. And how lovely it is to live in such a community!

The first step is person to person confrontation.  Confrontation is not a very good word. I think a better expression is heart-to-heart talk!  I am convinced that if this is done with love and care there’s no need for another step.  Most will end up shaking hands or even embracing each other with a resolve to become better friends, better lovers.

Should there be a need for another step anyhow, Jesus instructs us to move to the second step:  To win over the brother or sister in the presence of two or three other witnesses.  Sometimes, one may be wrong about the accusation against another.  The presence of other witnesses establishes objectivity and certainty about the moral issue and strengthens the invitation for the erring party to consider reconciliation.

Should that fail too, the conflict has to be brought to the attention now of the community of the Church as the third step. In this level, failure on the part of the erring party to listen and to be humble enough to amend his ways may invoke the right of the Church to expel such an obstinate unloving member from the community. But even here, to treat such a member as a gentile or a tax collector, as the gospel instructs, is to leave an open door, an open invitation for an eventual conversion of heart.  Such is the magnanimity of Christian charity!

Again, what a lovely community we are called to be.  Is there someone in particular you ought to reach out to in the spirit of fraternal correction? Go, go, go! Win that brother or sister over.

A Million Dollar Question (21st Sunday Ordinary A)

The great Fr. Juan Sanz, who was a very patient spiritual director to me and was many other things to countless other people when he was alive, would remind me again and again of a basic Ignatian principle.  “If you were to serve God joyfully, you’ve gotta love Him most dearly. Okay? But if you were to love God dearly, you’ve gotta know Him first intimately.  Clear?”  This is the simplest and maybe the clearest way of explaining what St. Ignatius believed as the purpose of man’s life:  To know, to serve, and to love God. In this triadic calling, one element is foundational to the other; of all three, the most basic is to know God.

Do you know God intimately?

Today’s gospel reading (Mt. 16: 13-20) recounts a very significant moment in the life of Jesus’ disciples especially Peter and in the life of what was to become the Church.  In this gospel episode that transpired in the region of Caesaria Philippi, Jesus fires the million dollar question:  Who do you say I am? Maybe we can paraphrase this with “Do you really know me?”

But first, Jesus asks the disciples the easier question, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”  The disciples are very quick to answer, most probably even in chorus trying to be the first to reply, “Some say John the Baptist, others Elijah, still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets” (v. 14).

It’s quite easy for the disciples to report to Jesus how people perceive him.  But Jesus’ real concern is not the opinion of other people.  If his disciples were to be the foundation of his Church, it is of utmost importance that they know him intimately and personally.  So Jesus fires the million dollar question.

“But who do YOU say that I am?”  This time no one answers... except the great Simon Peter. “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”   Correct!  Jesus affirms Peter by assuring him that it is God the Father who reveals this truth to him for no “flesh and blood” (which means human power) can do it. On the basis of Peter’s profession, Jesus calls him “Peter,” the rock, who, right there and then, is designated as the foundation of the Church: “...and upon this rock I will build my church” (v. 18).

Peter’s intimate knowledge of Jesus is the very foundation of loving and serving God all throughout the centuries as the Church headed by Peter and his successors do what she is sent to do.

Again we can never overemphasize this crucial fact:  To know God intimately is of utmost significance to our relationship with God be it on the level of personal and individual or of collective and ecclesial.

Today, we may do well to allow the scripture to confront us too. “Who do you say I am?” What is our response to this? We probably notice that, as in the case of Jesus’ disciples, it is easier for us to describe God according to what we have heard, read, and seen from external sources.  We have plenty of opinions about God. Opinions from our parents, catechists, preachers, pastors, retreat directors, etc.  It would be a real tragedy in our spiritual and ecclesial life if for long we have been maintaining a relationship to an opinion of God.  God is not an opinion. God is not an important piece of information, a fact that our head considers.  God is not even a doctrine that we debate about or wish to memorize in an orthodox formula.

God is someone who loves us personally. God is someone who reveals himself to us inviting us to love him in return. To know this God is to encounter him in our life. Knowing him means experiencing him in quite a personal way.  For God, this is what matters and not so much our ideas and concepts about him. 

Again, the million dollar question: Who do you say I am? Like Peter, are we ready to give an answer to this yet?

Fr. Sanz taught me a secret:  “If you wish to know God intimately, ask for the grace.”  We can only know God as He allows it. We can only experience God as He reveals himself. No amount of unaided human insight can truly realize whom we are dealing with.  Peter knew who Jesus was because the Father revealed to him. The other disciples listened to the voices around them; hence, got the opinions of other people about Jesus.  Peter, however, listened to the voice inside him—the voice of God who reveals.

God is constantly communicating with us. He is a God who relates. In Trinitarian theology, some theologians propose that “relations” is an ontological property of God, meaning, God’s very being is relationship.  And indeed, the scripture reveals that God is love. Love cannot be in isolation. Hence, we can correctly assume that God constantly relates with us.  The only venue for such relationship to be meaningful is our human experience.  Therefore, to know God is to encounter him in our daily experiences.  Do we have time to examine where God is working in our life?  Do we find deeper meaning in our otherwise ordinary routine in life? Do we encounter God in what we do in life? What kind of a God does my life reveal to me? 

Again, the million dollar question: Who do you say I am?

Lord, give me the grace to know you intimately and personally so that, in knowing you, I can love you most dearly, and in loving you, I can serve you joyfully.

The God of Silence (19th Sunday Ordinary A)

God was not in the stormy wind rending the mountains and crushing the rocks, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire.  Elijah encountered God in the “sound of silence”—in the tiny whispering sound (1 Kgs 19: 9-13).

God’s presence in the ordinary day-to-day events. Almost always greatness is demonstrated by grandiosity—like the astounding display of a multi-million-peso worth of fireworks, the construction of a huge and dominating elaborate edifice, the preparation of an unparalleled hero’s welcome, etc.  Going by this line of thinking, we easily expect God to work in mind-boggling, nature-defying miracles or to reveal God’s self in awesome, jaw-dropping theophanies.  All because God is God; and God is great!

God can do this of course.  But God does communicate with us, more often than we ever notice, in a commonplace fashion, in a non-obtrusive way, in a tiny whispering sound as in the case of Elijah.  The problem is, most of us do not have the slightest suspicion that God in is the ordinary and everyday routine of our lives.  Furthermore, when God is silent, we easily take it to mean that God does not care at all.

God’s presence in the storms of life. In today’s gospel (Mt. 14:22-33), Peter and the other disciples encountered Jesus as a reassuring and calm presence amid the waves that tossed about their boat. “It is I; do not be afraid,” was the assurance of Jesus to his terrified disciples.

Today’s readings assure us of the abiding presence of God whether in our most trying moments or in the humdrum of our daily responsibilities. God is always with us.  God is maybe silent but not absent for sure.

Do I have faith in the God of silence?

Where is God when my only son committed suicide? Where is God when our livelihood and properties were all washed away by flood?  Where is God in my moments of unbearable pain wrought by this vicious cancer?  Where is God when my daughter, our only hope to rise from this miserable life, had an unwanted pregnancy? These can go on and on as an endless litany of other excruciating cries that betray our lack of trust in God whose silence we don’t understand.

Where is God during the storms of our lives?

We see the storm quite clearly as we tremble in fear; but we fail to notice the hand of God reaching out to us.  Just like Peter, when he got out of the boat and started walking on the water toward Jesus, he was distracted by the strong wind.  He allowed his fears to creep in and lost his focus on Jesus.  There and then, he started to sink (vv.  30).

This is true with our lives.  We focus on the storms too much.  God is left unnoticed.   We walk through life with so much burden and pain, insecurities and fears while all along God silently accompanies us, always reaching out his saving hand.  And we don’t notice it, perhaps, until we sink into the pit of despair and start to panic for dear life.

Our invitation is to see the saving hand of God in any storm of life. Like Peter, we need to fix our eyes on God and ask for God’s saving hand. What storm has been buffeting my life?  Do I have faith in the silent but reassuring presence of God seeing me through these difficult times?

May the readings today, make known to us the God of silence—the God whose presence is as unobtrusive as a faint sound of a whisper.  It is God’s silence that tests the sensitivity of faith on our part when we face the turmoil of our storms in life. God is with us either in the ordinary daily grind or in the most trying events of our lives. May this truth build our confidence in facing any storm in life. The Lord is just right there in the middle of the storm reaching out his hand to save us. “It is I. Do not be afraid.”