Have you been seriously asked this
question: “Do you love me?” When you are aware of the full implication of the
commitment to love, this question is truly a daunting one. Many find it a lot easier to be non-committal
by responding, “perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.”
When I was making up my mind about getting
ordained as a priest, I had to grapple with this question. And of course the
question, in my particular context, is thrown by God. I had to face the Lord in my prayer and give
my courageous answer. After all, the
authenticity of following the Lord essentially rests on the love that binds one
with him. Today’s gospel episode (Jn
21:1-19) helped me arrive at a decisive affirmation of my vocation. Allow me to
share my personal insights that emboldened me to say yes. Two related insights: First, with the Risen
Lord, there’s life; without Him, there’s emptiness. Second, the Risen Lord fills up the abyss of
our inadequacy in loving him.
A
Life of Bounty.
Any sane person desires to live a bountiful life—a fruitful and
meaningful life. We are all in search of this life. The gospel today reveals to
us the secret path to such a life: It is
only with the Lord’s direction that one can truly attain a fruitful life.
The gospel begins with the scene where
Peter and those with him decided to go fishing— actually to go back to fishing, a life they had
already left behind when they followed the Lord. Fishing was their expertise;
they were good at that. But that night,
the whole night, they caught nothing. When it was already dawn, the Risen Lord
was standing on the shore and directed them to cast their net over the right
side of the boat. “So they cast it, and
were not able to pull it in because of the number of fish” (v. 6).
This incident reminds all of Jesus’
disciples, starting from Peter himself, that we cannot boast of our expertise,
skills, talents and know-how. These do not guarantee that we can be truly fruitful
in what we do in life. A “large catch,” a bountiful and meaningful life, can be
achieved only when we humbly submit our expertise to the Lord’s
directions. Apart from Him our abilities
may be disoriented, our life fruitless.
I met a businessman, for instance, in
Makati. Despite his seeming success in his trade, he admitted of his emptiness.
Not only that, his intoxication with his success was leading him to destroy his
family! His own brand of success gave him more occasions to cheat his wife and
robbed him of his time to be with his children. Fortunately, before he totally
destroyed what really mattered in his life he came to his senses: He could not
continue to do it his own way lest he would certainly lose everything.
Sometimes, it is good to hit the rock
bottom of our folly because it shakes off our arrogance. And only in that
posture of humility that we can listen to God’s directions and eventually enjoy
a truly blessed bountiful life.
Do I allow the Risen Lord to give directions
to my life? Or do I stubbornly and arrogantly insist on doing things my old way
even after the Lord has shown me the way?
Do
You Love Me? Anyone who wants to follow the Lord
has to face this question squarely. This is the question I had to face myself.
Do I love the Lord enough to be his ordained priest? Do I love the Lord more
than I love myself? More than I love the significant persons in life? More than
his created things?
An honest evaluation of ourselves will most
likely render us incapable of giving a categorical yes. We love the Lord, but we
know full well that our human heart is fickle, forgetful, unfaithful, and many
times coward. While it is a total dishonesty to say no, to say yes seems to be a
form of arrogance.
Towards the end of today’s gospel episode,
Jesus confronts Peter with this hard question: “Do you love me more than
these?” Peter has to answer this three times! The same number of times he has
denied the Lord just before the crucifixion! What a grilling moment this is for
Peter! But this is a moment of grace too. The triple question of the Master is
to allow Peter to undo his triple denial with a triple profession of love. Such
is the Lord’s graciousness.
Peter’s profession of love is no longer
arrogant. There is so much humility in his answer when he says “Yes Lord; YOU
KNOW that I love you.” I love you as you know me and my imperfect heart.
I find so much consolation in this
realization that the Lord knows our heart. He knows its inadequacies in loving
him. Yet He finds ways for us to come to terms with every moment of our imperfection
in loving him. He fills up the abyss of our inadequacy to love. Simply put, He
enables our incompetent heart to love him!
It is this love—a graced love-- that any
follower of Jesus will have to carry with him/her in the journey towards the
path of discipleship. “Feed my sheep” is
Jesus’ charge to anyone who braves to embrace the challenge of loving him.
On this third Sunday of Easter, we are
invited by the Lord to answer bravely but with humility his question, “Do you
love me?” We may be well aware of our inadequacies in loving the Lord. This serves
us well because it humbles us. But let us be equally aware of God’s enabling
grace allowing us to love him. Like Peter may we then say, “Yes Lord; YOU KNOW
that I love you.” As we fulfill our
charge to serve in whatever capacity we are called to, let God’s directions
always be our cue; then, trust that we are in for a great catch.
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