Our natural instinct is self-preservation. We protect ourselves from harm and, as much
as possible, from death. Dying is
something we avoid thinking about. We dread it because it is destructive. But much as we want to deny it, death is a
process we will certainly all go through. The death of Jesus Christ on the
cross, when we give it a serious look, transforms our attitude and the meaning
we give to death.
The story of Richie Fernando, a young Filipino Jesuit
missionary in Cambodia, can help us gain an insight into this Christ-transformed
understanding of death. Before
ordination to the priesthood, Richie was sent to Cambodia and worked as a
teacher in a technical school for the handicapped. He loved his students and allowed them to
share with him their stories. He would write to a friend in the Philippines and
express his joy in giving his life in the service of the handicapped: “I know where my heart is, It is with Jesus
Christ, who gave his all for the poor, the sick, the orphan ...I am confident
that God never forgets his people: our disabled brothers and sisters. And I am
glad that God has been using me to make sure that our brothers and sisters know
this fact. I am convinced that this is my vocation.”
On October 17, 1996, one of Richie’s students, Sarom, a landmine victim who had been feared because of his disruptive behaviour and had been asked to leave by the school authorities, came to the school for a meeting. Out of anger, he pulled out a grenade from his bag and moved towards a classroom full of students. Richie came up behind Sarom and restrained him. While struggling, Sarom dropped the grenade behind Richie and that instance spelled the death of the young missionary. In trying to save the lives of others, Richie gave up his own.
On October 17, 1996, one of Richie’s students, Sarom, a landmine victim who had been feared because of his disruptive behaviour and had been asked to leave by the school authorities, came to the school for a meeting. Out of anger, he pulled out a grenade from his bag and moved towards a classroom full of students. Richie came up behind Sarom and restrained him. While struggling, Sarom dropped the grenade behind Richie and that instance spelled the death of the young missionary. In trying to save the lives of others, Richie gave up his own.
Richie’s life, I believe, was characterized by self-giving. Before his untimely death, he had been dying every day to self with his decision to give his life in the service of the poor and the handicapped of Cambodia. His death was a culmination of a life totally given to others and to Jesus.
Today’s gospel reading (Jn 12:20-33) offers us the
clearest illustration of the relationship between dying and attaining new life:
“Unless the grain of wheat falls to the
earth and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat. But if it dies, it produces
much fruit.” Dying and rising to new life is central to our Lenten
celebration which allows us to reflect on the paschal mystery of Christ. Jesus
Christ is the grain of wheat. He has to
submit himself to death that he may conquer it by his resurrection. This is at
the heart of Lent.
A disciple of Christ has to be like him, a grain of wheat
ready to give up everything in dying in order to usher in the fullness of life. The true following of Christ is not
easy. Real discipleship is not cheap.
The way is costly. Discipleship requires our dying to oneself every day.
Following Christ does not right away mean offering one’s life big time on the
cross. The magnanimity and courage of the heart to give up everything in death
do not come to us automatically as part of our nature. What is natural to us is self-preservation.
Self-sacrifice is transcending what is natural with the aid of grace. It has to
be nurtured by our decisions to die a little each day by way of our acts of
self-denial. When we forget ourselves
because our concern is the welfare of those who need our service and love, we
have died to our selfishness.
Death for a believer, therefore, is already a
consummation of a life spent in daily self-offering. The destructive nature of death then, as in
the destructiveness of the cross of Christ, is overcome by freely embracing death
in self-giving just as Jesus Christ embraced his death in total surrender to
the will of the Father.
Our Lenten journey to Easter reminds us that there is no
escaping the process of dying in our way to everlasting life. We cannot eliminate the cross on our way to
glory. There is no such thing as Christianity without the cross. In fact, the way of the cross is the only way
Christ has chosen to take in order to bring new life to all. The way of the
cross is the Christian way of life and the way to life.
Richie Fernando gave up his life that all those whom he
loved, his handicapped students, may have life.
His death culminated his earthly life characterized by daily self-giving. He has lived the fullness of life that a
faithful disciple could wish for. Like
Richie, we are invited to go beyond our self-preserving instinct. We are called to transcend our self-love. Dying each day to our selfishness and egoism
liberates us to care for and serve others.
This is, perhaps, the greatest paradox in life: When we die each day in
self-giving, it is when we gain the freedom to live our lives to the full. And
when in death, we surrender humbly and trustingly everything to God, death loses
its sting and eternal life shines brightly.
“The man who loves his life loses it, while the man who
hates his life in this world preserves it to life eternal.”
