Let me recall first a romantic film, Till I Met You. In this movie, Gabriel (Robin Padilla) and Luisa (Regine Velasquez) meet in the hacienda of Señor Manuel (Eddie Garcia). Gabriel is the trusted right-hand man of the haciendero, Señor Manuel and he has only deep respect for the generous old man; he loves him as his own father because Manuel has supported him since his childhood. Now, Gabriel slowly falls in love with Luisa as he knows her better even her wounded past. But Luisa is staying there in the hacienda in preparation for her wedding with Señor Manuel. Should Gabriel fight for his love and pursue the lovable Luisa? Or should he forget about his feelings out of his deep respect for the old man?
In Filipino, we have a word for giving up something precious to oneself for the interest of someone else whom one deeply cares about—pagpaparaya. Of course, Gabriel cannot betray the old man whom he respects deeply. Kailangan niyang magparaya. So, he painfully decides not to get in the way between Luisa and Señor Manuel.
In today’s gospel (Mt 1:18-24), we can view Joseph’s reaction to his knowledge about Mary’s virginal conception as an act of “pagpaparaya”—giving up the love of his life out of deep reverence for God. Verse 19 states, “Joseph, being a just man… resolved to send her away quietly.” Joseph could not take as his wife a woman whom God had chosen to be his own. Fr. Nil Guillemette, SJ explains: The “justice” of Joseph is a religious justice and prevents him from stepping in uninvited into God’s plan of salvation by assuming the paternity of the Messiah.” Yet, in a dream, Joseph got invited into this huge plan of salvation. The angel Gabriel announced to him the mystery of incarnation: “Joseph, descendant of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. She has conceived by the Holy Spirit, and now she will bear a son.” Part of this mystery was his role in this great plan: “You shall call him ‘Jesus’ for he will save his people from their sins” (v. 20-21). To this, Joseph responded with willingness.
What stands out in this gospel reading is Joseph’s magnanimous heart. This is shown in two ways: In his selfless love and in his committed love.
Joseph’s Selfless Love. Joseph loved Mary. His love for her was never possessive. When he learned of Mary’s pregnancy and, perhaps, of Mary’s own explanation even before the dream, Joseph was willing to let her go. Not with a bitter heart but a magnanimous heart seeking only whatever is good for his beloved and maintaining deep reverence for God’s plan. Handang magparaya. Letting go of something or someone very precious to oneself for a better cause calls for a magnanimous heart. It’s an act of selfless love.
Kaya ko bang magparaya? Do I have what it takes to give up something dear to me for a greater cause without turning bitter? We are all called to love. Loving in its essence is selfless. Yet, many a times we suffer from fixation to our childish neediness. To survive as a child, we necessarily demand attention and care for ourselves for we live in total dependence on others. But we need to outgrow the needy child in us; for we are called to become mature people capable of loving selflessly. This Advent season, try to think of yourself less and less and reach out to those who are in need. Give up something precious to you for the sake of another whom you care about. Pray for the grace of selfless love.
Joseph’s Committed Love. While Joseph was willing to let Mary go very carefully as not to disgrace her, he was magnanimous in yet another way as he manifested willingness to commit himself to God’s purpose. When the angel Gabriel announced to him his important role to be the legal father of Jesus by the act of naming him, He willingly obeyed. He saw his own purpose in life. God had chosen him for this. It was not a coincidence that he was a descendant of David; his acceptance conferred the same Davidic lineage to Jesus, thus, fulfilling what had been prophesied about the Messiah who was to come from the line of David.
Joseph is great because he embraced with a committed love his God-designated purpose in life. We are called to the same greatness too. To lead a great life is to live according to the purpose God has designated for each one of us. No one among us is an accident. God is not a clumsy Creator. He is the God of order and harmony and of wise designs. He has a purpose for his every act. He has a purpose for each one of us. Our task is to discern, by reflection, by self-examination, or even through our dreams, what on earth are we here for? And then like Joseph, may we have a big heart to embrace our own calling.
To end, let’s go back to the film: Señor Manuel and Luisa are preparing now for their wedding. Gabriel is willing to sacrifice his love for Luisa. Little did he know, Señor Manuel has known Gabriel’s feelings and the sacrifice he and Luisa are willing to take. The good old man, then, declares that there’s not going to be a wedding. He knows that Luisa and Gabriel, these two persons dear to him, will be much happier and fulfilled together. So the story ends with another person’s display of a magnanimous heart. It’s edifying to watch a great person.
This Advent season, let us aspire to be great, like Joseph, by cultivating a magnanimous heart—a heart willing to love and lose for a greater cause and a heart willing to love and embrace the purpose God has set for our lives.
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